In our world where competition and standards of living are getting higher, kids are more pressured to excel in their curriculum so they could apply to the University of their choice which most of these schools have standards as much as their tuition fee that increases almost every year.
Our goal now as parents is to help our child not only survive the ever intimidating world and to instill in their minds that in order for them to reach their dreams they must first have to finish schooling thus do homework and with support of after school programs.
We must then first understand the value that Homework does to our children as pointed in Better Homes which are as follows:
1. Responsibility: Homework is the child’s responsibility. If you get too involved, you set the process on its head.
2. Independence: Because it’s the first time someone other than a parent assigns frequent tasks to the child, homework breaks new ground. How this golden opportunity is managed will either enhance or obstruct your child’s progress toward self-direction.
3. Perseverance: There’s no point to a child’s doing homework if every time the child becomes frustrated, you step right in and make it all better. It’s OK to let your child struggle a bit with a problem.
4. Time management: Children need to be told when to finish their homework, not when to start it. That way, instead of learning to waste time, the child learns to manage it.
5. Initiative: Like a muscle, the ability to be a self-starter strengthens with exercise. That’s why it’s essential that the child decide when it’s time to begin each homework assignment.
6. Self-reliance: Homework can affirm a child’s feeling of competency. Mismanaged, it deflates that feeling. Unfortunately, there is no in-between.
7. Resourcefulness: The ability to be inventive in the face of problems is the very stuff of being human. Homework provides a wonderful setting for your child to practice such cleverness.
Now that we recognize the underlying values brought about by the homework our kids have to go through, our views will differ as well. We are now more open and supportive knowing that this will truly help our child’s growth both in academic and as an individual.
With the ever advancing curriculums in school, after school program was also created. The purpose of this program is to help our child develop their potential through various school related activities. Examples of these are sports, creative arts, camps, talent sessions, etc. All of these activities help our children develop even greater values they get from than the usual paper works or homework.
When we enroll our kids to these programs, the values they will acquire will help strengthen good values and have greater impact in their lives as they grow older. Some of these skills and values are leadership, teamwork, creativity, enhanced talent, social interactions, indicators of behavioral adjustments, etc.
As parents we play a big role in motivating our child to pursue these activities. They might not be willing at first knowing that they will be in an unknown place with unknown people and unknown circumstances. Be patient and persistent but not commanding. Push them in a way that they will feel it is an opportunity than a torture activity.
There are several reasons why some kids don’t want to go to school or are hesitant to attend these activities. Examples of these are kids who have problems with their social interaction or are being bullied, shy or are struggling with self – esteem, those who have difficulty in following orders or commands and/or with attention deficiency.
To those kids, your ever moral support will be tested. Do not push them yet. Know first their reasons, probe, and get to the bottom of the problem and once you realize the real reason for their hesitations then you can find a way to help them overcome it.
Being a parent can really be challenging in more ways than one, but as Carol Buchner once said “They (children) may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel.” Deal with each problem like sickness, one that is with a cure. Be gentle and understanding. Be kind and considerate. Soon your child will feel your sincerity and trust in them that they will also begin to trust in themselves.
The outside world created a system to help your child’s growth but it is your child. Do not leave it to strangers to mold your kid into someone you might not even recognize. The most important person who can truly make your child be a better person is you, the parent.
“The path of development is a journey of discovery that is clear only in retrospect, and it’s rarely a straight line.” – Eileen Kennedy-Moore
You may want to constantly remind your child to look forward, venture in anything and everything and soon they will know what they want when they get to the part where they are to choose which dream to fulfill. Our children grows from kindergarten to teenager and then to college. Let us remember that each stage is critical to how they will become. Wouldn’t you be happier if when your child reaches that part in their lives where they are successful then they would tell you “thank you for your support and understanding all throughout my struggles”? Keep this vision in your mind. Then soon you will realize that no amount of fights, tantrums, bull-headedness can be but a small price to a greater cause which is your child’s future.
Setting our minds to these things will help us be motivated to support our child to go through the programs the school provided for their learnings. And when we get to the part where we too feel exhausted, irritated, disappointed, may we all think that
“…Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”
– Steve Maraboli in Life, the Truth and Being Free.